No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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