so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize