I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
