He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
