Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
