We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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