We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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