How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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