1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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