he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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