If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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