An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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