using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
