Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
