My Higher Power is John Stamos
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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