escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
