Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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