I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
