I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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