What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
