but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
