tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
