Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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