Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
