It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
