First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
