my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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