Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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