real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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