Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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