using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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