wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
sex in a hospital.. check
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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