Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Four minutes until I can fart!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
