I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
