2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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