you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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