Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
3pm strippers are depressing
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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