Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize