My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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