Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
