capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
