Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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