Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Who did Billy Mays play for?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
