he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We're too hungover to prance.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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