so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
