You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
