I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
