He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wish I only lived at night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
