Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
