Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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