i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
