nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
